i think it would be in line for me to say when growing up i was not taught the most important lessons in life and now i find myself out here it feels like a jungle and really its not for me its a lot because i have not been equiped for it, i basically had no idea what to expect here , it can be called ignorance but really its not .. it started when i went to university i felt like i was being punished, all i knew was to go to school and go home ,i started seeing how hard it is when i went to tetiary i was really left out but all this misery and pain i survived and yet i had not thought about it, what i was there for and then i was just a young adult doing the right thing ...lol, what my parents said is good i was care free i was just existing as long as I was alive i was fine.
from tetiary out i went into the work place the reason i got here is simple i hate failing i wasnt going to let anything stand in my way i studied all the time anytime well atleast most of the time the only bad thing i have done in my life is loving willem too much he nearly destroyed me he was the only man i loved the one man i thought id marry after i completed my diploma and started working ...its part of the reason why i wanted to pass so badly he was my everything that is partly the reason why i even started drinking i wanted to fit in be like other girls be a lady i was young and the only thing that mattered to me was him as stupid as it is its true but we often learn from our mistakes and i was a fool when it came to deciding things i didnt know any better but I always thought i was smart, coming to this point i can say i had a horrible time at university because i had never been away from home i had never travelled anywhere besides going from my grannies to my moms i grew up under the protective wing of my grandma i was treated like an egg and she was not able to protect me anymore i had to do everything on my own i would cry myself to sleep every night but as days went i adapted very well got used to being indepedent and i did drink too much at one point when i realised i shouldnt have to study to pass but that phase passed.. it wasnt really what i wanted for myself.
in came 2009 the year that almost saw me giving up in life it was my last year at university i was doing pretty well everything was just great well untill i was attacked i will not even go into details but when your doing great satan always tries and destroy you i will forever be grateful to God for saving my life and protecting me and also thank my mom for convicing me to finish my exams and not quitting right at the end and even though some days it haunts me i believe i am strong and will come to forget it. after finishing exams i thought i had it all my dream was finally coming true i was going to start working and hopefully willem was going to marry me little did i know he was far from that i have reason now to thank God so much for letting willem marry some other woman because really i deserve far much better.i can say i will never be able to put down in writting how i felt when i found out i was not the woman for him i felt like my life was over i didnt know if it was even possible to get over that much pain i felt betrayed i didnt understand why God would allow such a thing to happen but now i understand that he was not the right human for me i was never going to be happy should i have continued with him but the only thing that helped me and yes its wrong but it was finally dating Natassja's dad maybe to be clear his biological father no diference really but there is...this guy has been after me for aslong as from high school and when i started working in menlyn i finally dated him i can say and i will always know he truly loved me there is nothing he wouldnt do for me we were together everyday it was all perfect i completely forgot about willem and life was fun and fun and that all resulted in the coming of Natassja and being so foolishly in love that i moved so i could be with him all the time it was great life was perfect i was close with all his family they treated me like their own well thats what i thought and then when Natassja came everything turned sour im Glad i have a beautiful daughter today and who they have never seen all i can say is i have accepted this life ive been given...and today as i write this im a totally new person I am my true self i have no grudges and yes all i want is to be a successful woman in all that i do 8 months of being single and im feeling more alive.i am a stronger being and i will hold on to this life and suck all the juice that i can possible suck out.
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